76. Seven Signs You Might Be a Bad Boss (And How to Become a Better Leader)

Most leaders don’t wake up trying to be a bad boss.

But sometimes the habits we build under pressure, stress, or good intentions can quietly create frustration, confusion, or burnout for the people around us.

In this solo episode of Lead Into It, I’m sharing seven signs that your leadership style might be getting in your team’s way and what to do instead. This isn’t about guilt or perfection. It’s about building awareness so you can lead more intentionally and create an environment where people can thrive.

In This Episode:

• Why psychological safety matters more than you think
•  The hidden ways leaders unintentionally shut people down
•  How unclear expectations create frustration
•  Why constant firefighting may be a leadership signal
•  The difference between control and development
•  How your energy impacts team performance
•  Simple ways to become a more intentional leader

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Leadership starts with self-awareness
00:33 – Sign #1: Your team avoids bringing you problems
02:00 – Sign #2: You say you’re approachable—but your reactions say otherwise
04:49 – Sign #3: You notice mistakes more than progress
06:21 – Sign #4: You expect mind reading instead of communication
08:46 – Sign #5: You’re constantly putting out fires
10:44 – Sign #6: You prioritize control over growth
12:29 – Sign #7: Your team seems exhausted around you

Let’s keep the conversation going—connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or reach out at hello@leadintoit.co. 

Excited to be with you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to episode 76 of the Lead Into a Podcast. Hello and welcome to another episode of Lead Into It. I'm your host, Sarah Greco. And today we're going to talk about something that I found very interesting for a couple of weeks. So it was a newsletter topic that I sent out a couple weeks ago, and I actually got a lot of feedback on it. But what was interesting is it was direct feedback to me and it wasn't feedback on the post itself. And so I think that says a lot about what type of content that is. And it was the newsletter that was seven ways or seven signs that you might be a bad boss, which is something that I've actually had in my docket for a while. I had it as a draft until I needed it. And that was a week that I needed a newsletter pretty quickly. And so I edited it and posted it. And it was kind of wild at how much feedback I got on it. So I thought it would be a really good podcast episode because it, I feel like this is a conversation that probably should be shared a little bit more. And it's a little bit taboo because you don't want to say, like, oh, you might be a bad boss. And when I say bad boss, I mean like you might have characteristics that could be improved when it comes to your leadership style. And that's probably everyone, to be completely honest. But here are some signs that just provide some self-reflection on maybe that's not the way that you want to lead intentionally. And guess what, guys? We've all had that bad boss. We've all had a bad boss. Every single room that I've ever asked that question in, there is not a hand not raised. Everyone's hand is always raised. That could be for a multitude of reasons. One is you and the person that you're leading, or maybe the manager that you had just didn't vibe. And that's okay. Like not everyone's gonna vibe, every person's different, whatever that is. But the other thing is that a lot of the stuff you can improve upon. You can become better and then people want to work for you and they feel inspired by you. So here are just some signs that I found to be pretty common in poor leadership or management style. Sign number one, your team avoids bringing you problems. If you only ever hear good news, that is indicator number one that you might not be the boss that you thought you were. It's funny because you would actually think it'd be the opposite, where if somebody's bringing you only good news, you're like, my team is doing so great. I freaking love how great they're doing and I never hear any problems. So everything must just be going swimmingly. I would actually say that's the opposite because there are always going to be issues. There's always going to be challenges. And if you're not addressing or seeing any of those challenges, that means they're hiding it from you, which means there's a reason that they're not bringing it up to you. And those reasons could be maybe every time they brought feedback or information of challenges or obstacles or problems in the past, the reaction that you had was not one that they were expecting or one that didn't positively influence the work that they were trying to create. So that is just something to reflect on. Cause I've noticed that, and this, I feel like this especially happens the higher up you go. People want to look good. People want to portray a good persona to the boss. And whenever that boss doesn't have the understanding of what that could look like, then it might be challenging to actually dive in and get those obstacles. So I think the takeaway here is a good boss and great leaders create this thing called psychological safety where a person feels safe enough to share the issues, problems, or challenges that they're trying to overcome. And it's not the anxiety of bringing a problem to you. Sign number two, you say you're approachable, but your your reaction says. And so this kind of plays into sign number one, where you only hear good things. Again, it might have been a reaction that you had had when feedback was provided to you on a project or something like that. And those moments of reaction, of oh my gosh, that's not the way you were supposed to do it. Or uh, I would have never done it that way. Or there's like a lot of these moments that I have experienced personally in my life. If you become defensive as a boss when that person is just trying to share a challenge, a problem, feedback, they're going to shut down. They are not going to approach you in a way that is meaningful because if you're providing only reactions, that's not productive to their work or their mental health. And so they're going to avoid it because they don't feel safe enough to approach you. So no matter how many times you say, My door is always open, come on in. If there's no one coming to your door, that means that there's something wrong. That means that maybe you're not as approachable as you thought you were. Side number three, you only notice mistakes. Being in this type of world as an individual contributor or somebody who's working an employee, that is one of the most mentally dragging experiences I think I've ever had. When I was so micromanaged that I felt like I couldn't breathe. And no matter what I did, it was wrong. I never want to experience that again. So on the other side, if you are a boss who's only noticing mistakes, something's not getting done correctly, something's not getting done in general, there is a lot of errors in a product that should have had no errors. And if there's only mistakes being shared with that member, team, whatever it is, if there's only mistakes and no acknowledgement, recognition, or appreciation, it's just, it's going to breed negativity in that workplace. And if you're providing meaningful, intentional feedback and you're also providing appreciation and recognition, you probably have a decent workplace environment. But if you're only providing criticism and highlighting mistakes that were done and should have been done better, and why aren't you doing this? That's going to breed a culture of negativity and it's going to exhaust your team. Exhaust your team. There's a lot of ways to combat this, which I can go over in a future episode. But for today, when it comes to these signs, I would just reflect upon like, are these things that appear in my workplace or appears in my leadership style? Just reflect upon that. Sign number four, you expect mind reading instead of communication. This is so interesting as a sign because I think there was a situation that I was in where I was talking to like a peer or colleague at work. And they were just like, why would they even do it that way? Like that's not the way that it should be done. I was like, did you tell them that that's not the way that it should be done? And they're like, no, they should just know. I was like, how are they supposed to know if you're not telling them? Like that is, you can't expect mind reading. People all think differently. And so just because it is the way that it has been done in the past and people observe and catch on quickly, others might not. And that's okay. Everyone is different. I'm going to say the third time, everyone is different and learns in a different way. And so the best thing to do is to share your expectations, whatever it looks like, whether it's you're just starting a role as a boss and you're leading a new team, or there's a new project that you're delegating down. There's so many different things that you can do to help the communication. And I did an instructor essentials class when I worked at Southwest Orleans, which was so interesting because we learned about facilitation and teaching and all of the different things. And one of the things that they taught us was how information is absorbed in the student or in the audience and how often you have to reiterate that information for it to actually be absorbed. So, teachers, if you're listening, you probably already know this. But when it comes to teaching or sharing what your expectations are, it might take several times for the person to fully absorb what that means. And that could look like sharing your expectations, giving some space, reflecting on if there's any questions, sharing your expectations again, giving some space, then going through the process a few times before the person might fully understand what the expectation actually is. So just understand that that might take some effort. Delegating and leading a team, it takes a lot of effort and a lot of different communication. And everyone's communication style is different too. So creating an understanding is important and repeating expectations is not a weakness. In fact, I would say that's a strength. If you're willing to talk about it multiple times, I feel like that's going to set you up for success in the long run versus just setting expectations go do and that being it. There's a lot of different ways to go about it. But the main thing is, did I communicate this clearly enough for them to execute what is required in this moment, this project? Sign number five, you are constantly putting out fires. There are people out in the world. This is such a broad statement, but there's people out in the world who loved to thrive on chaos. I have been in scenarios and I would say some of it was military, but they love just having chaos. If they don't have a certain level of chaos happening in their life, they will create the chaos. And when I say chaos, this could be as little as, oh, I have a hundred million emails that I need to go through, or it's jumping from meeting to meeting and just feeling like everything is so jumbled up, still having a million things to do. You don't have to live that way. But what I will tell you is if you're creating an environment of chaos or it feels like chaos, your team is going to feel it too. And that's important to understand. If you feel like you're constantly running from thing to thing, email to email, needing to put out fires, then there's a point where you need to take a step back and ask, does it need to be this way? I will caveat this with there are seasons that are just going to be busier than others. And this is for any crisis of any sort. And that should be a season, should end after a couple of months, a couple of weeks, whatever that timeline is. If it is constant, that's where the sign is relevant and should be looked at when it comes to being a leader and leading a team. The takeaway here is the leader sets the emotional pace for the team. And by understanding that, you can set the tone for the entire environment you work in. So if you're in panic mode for a really long time, your team will probably be in panic mode. But if you take a step back, decide what type of leader you want to be, calm, collected. Think of those leaders that you have followed before and you're like, oh, they're just amazing. Usually, in some way, shape, or form, they're pretty calm and collected. And I think that's important to recognize. So if a leader is calm and collected, your team probably will be too. Sign number six, you want control more than growth. This is growth for yourself and growth for your team. Micromanagement. I truly do not like this word because management cannot be on a micro level. Management can really only be on a macro level. And when you add that micro lens to management leadership, it is control. That is what it is. And usually when this type of micromanagement happens, it usually comes from a place of care. Usually they're like, oh, I really care about this project. I really care about this employee. I want sure that they are successful. But if you continue to take those little tasks and do them how you think they should be done, that person will never learn. They'll never be able to grow. And that is probably the most important is for them to grow and understand. Micromanagement also breeds a type of relationship that says, I don't trust you. And that's unfortunate because that is not the intention. It usually comes from care or wanting to do the project well or whatever that is. But if you're constantly taking away the thing that they were so proud to take care of, or you don't give them feedback and let them fix it on their own, that's gonna say I don't trust you. And that's unfortunate. You probably want to show that you actually trust them. Teams can't build confidence if leaders never let go. The time that confidence and growth actually happens is the time when your teammates or team members are probably the most uncomfortable. And honestly, as a leader, I would like to shove them into that as well. If they have an opportunity to grow, take that. You can help guide them through it so well. You've probably been there before. But if you don't give a chance on them, that's not worth it. Sign number seven, your team looks exhausted around you. This is something that's gonna take some awareness and really taking a step back and looking at what the scenario actually is. So, as stated earlier, leaders shape the entire environment and atmosphere of which a person works. So the energy that you're portraying can shift the team environment, either positively or negatively. And your team will respond physically to the environment that they are in. Exhaustion can look different for everyone, especially if you have a lot of higher achievers on your team. It might just be continuing to go, moving forward. The leader is going, so I'm gonna continue to go too. That is where they're going, I'm gonna continue to go. But if the leader is driving themselves into the ground, that high-achieving team is probably gonna do the same thing. Is that the environment that you want to portray? The other thing to recognize is if your team does look exhausted, just tired, it also might be prevalent when you're leading a meeting, walking into a room. These are moments where the energy might shift when you walk in. And this is something that if you're self-aware, you can pull this into your toolbox. Because if you're walking into the break room and suddenly it becomes silent when there was a bunch of chatter before you, they're probably not intending to talk about you or whatever it is, but they might be talking about a project or something that's just draining them. Those are moments to be aware of. In a meeting, do people see all the tasks and their eyes just get wide or they look just defeated? Do they not share their opinions? Do they not speak up, offer help? Those are probably moments to take a keen eye to and see how that is playing into the success of your team as well as the needs of your team. One of the things that is hard to do is to say no, especially in certain work environments. If your team is taking on a lot of tasks, projects, are constantly going, you can't remember the last time they took a day off or they're working on their days off because they have to keep up. If those are signs that your team is probably exhausted, take a keen eye at those things. Really take them in and understand the environment that they might be in and decide if that's the environment you want to create. So I'll go over those seven signs all at once again, so that we all have them wrapped up. But sign one, your team avoids bringing you problems. Sign two, you say you're approachable, but your reactions say otherwise. Sign three, you only notice mistakes. Sign four, you expect mind rating instead of communication. Sign five, you're constantly putting out fires. Sign six, you want control more than growth. And sign seven, your team looks exhausted around you. I want you to take these signs. I'm not saying that this does mean that you're a bad leader, but I would just want to take these as an opportunity to reflect, to decide what type of leader you want to be. And if any of these are coming up in your leadership style or you're noticing them, then maybe take a step back and see is this the leadership style that I want to portray? Is this how I want to lead? You can take small steps in the right direction, ask questions, and start to build the environment that you want to see. And the other thing I would take a look at is when you've had a bad boss, what changed when you left that you wish would have happened in the moment? This could have been less meetings, less emails, not staying until 7 p.m. or expecting your team to stay until 7 p.m. This could be a variety of things, but those thoughts are probably something that you want to include in your leadership style that you see don't align with your values. And you can decide what aligns with your values. You can build that into it. So I hope that this episode helped you reflect a little bit on your leadership style and how to be intentional about it. Um, I'd love to hear what resonated with you. If you have a moment, send me a note. I'm at hello at leadintoit.co. Follow me on Instagram at Sarah GrecoCoaching. And if you really enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you left a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify that really helps bring in other listeners. And especially if you found it valuable, that review will help bring other people who might find this valuable. So until next time.