79. My Leadership Journey: The Experiences That Changed How I Lead

What does leadership really look like over time?

I almost didn't share this story.

I've been holding onto it for a while because I wasn't sure I was ready to tell it. It's easy to share the wins. It's a lot harder to talk about the burnout, the difficult leaders, the career pivots, and the moments where you have no idea what you're doing.

But those are the experiences that shaped me the most. And if I encourage others to lead with authenticity and keep learning, I should be willing to do the same.

In this episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes of my own leadership journey—from joining the Air Force as a brand-new lieutenant to becoming a leadership coach and business owner.

Because I realized that leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about who you become through the experiences that shape you.

In this episode, I share:

• My leadership journey through the military, corporate America, and entrepreneurship.
• What great leaders did differently—and what I learned from the ones who struggled.
• Why grace, humility, and being approachable matter more than having all the answers.
• The role self-awareness plays in becoming a stronger leader.
• Learning to focus on what's actually within your control.
• How understanding your strengths (and owning your weaknesses) can change the way you lead.
• Why building relationships through networking and simple coffee chats has been one of the best career investments I've made.
• Navigating burnout, career transitions, and unexpected pivots.
• How coaching changed the way I think about leadership.
• A simple reflection practice you can start using today to continue growing as a leader.

Let’s keep the conversation going—connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or reach out at hello@leadintoit.co. 

Excited to be with you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're listening to episode 79 of the Lead Into It Podcast. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Lead Into It. I'm your host, Sarah Greco, and today I want to talk about my leadership journey. I think there's a lot to be said for the journey that you are on and looking back and taking the lessons to help you where you want to go in your future or with ideas and concepts that maybe you want to apply to help yourself grow. Looking back on my leadership journey is something that has really given me the growth and opportunity that I needed in order to take the lessons and apply them in a way that makes sense for me and to hopefully share them with everyone else so that you all can learn from my experiences and the lessons that I learned so that you don't also have to go through the same thing. So I'm gonna start with a timeline of kind of going through the journey that I went through. And then I'll talk about the lessons that I learned because there's always gonna be lessons that we learn and how we grow and all the things. And I think what you'll see is a theme. As I tell the story, I'll hit on what those themes are, especially at the end. But even as I practiced telling the story, as I went through the timeline, I realized even more themes and continue to apply those and learn how to make those better in my life. Um, so we're gonna start from college graduation. So in 2009, I commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Air Force and went into for support, which is basically manpower and personnel. It's kind of the HR department. They also have services, which is where you'll find morale, welfare, and recreation. So think of our clubs on base, our ITT, which is where you get your tickets, like Disney and stuff like that. So that's kind of where the for support lies. And I got stationed in Columbus, Mississippi, which is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very small town where they do pilot training for our brand new pilots in the Air Force. And so I go there, uh, and I had originally wanted to be public affairs, which for anyone who knows I am public affairs now, there's a story behind it. And so I started out as a force support officer and got stationed in Columbus, Mississippi. I went in, I was like, okay, it sounds great. Like, I'll make the best of it. Who knows what my journey is, and we'll kind of go from there. I get to Columbus and went through all my training, come back to base and never go into the force support squadron where I was supposed to go. Instead, I get pulled up to be the executive assistant of a colonel for the Mission Support Group Commander. I will say this person probably shaped how I view leadership from here on out. He was probably the greatest leader. And what's funny is the chief master sergeant who I worked with in this office was very traditional, super great. And she always said, you will never find another colonel like him. He is one in a million, he is very good at his job, but he's also a really good leader. Take the lessons. So I did. I took the lessons, I tried to learn as much as I could. Looking back, I realized how easy it was to work for him. And so that was one of the lessons I learned from this is that when somebody's easy to work for, they are a good leader. Like you knew exactly where your rights and lefts were and understood how to do the job and what he expected of you. But he also gave a lot of grace. So I took that lesson, and in the midst of all this, me learning from him, learning how to be an executive assistant, he at one point had to do an editorial for our base newspaper, which we still had at the time. And he sends me his draft and I edit it. But I edit it like I had learned in college, which is the correct like grammar, all the uh correct editing, making sure it's AP style, all of that. And I give it back to him and he comes up to me and he's like, Did you ever want to be public affairs? Like you're the way that you're editing is very public affairs style. I was like, Yeah, actually, that's what I originally wanted and I'd hoped to get, but I ended up in force of work. And he goes, Do you still want it? Yes, sir. I would love to go into public affairs. And he goes, Okay. And so for like a year after that conversation, he worked to get me into public affairs and eventually became successful at getting me in public affairs. In his 20-year career, he said that I had been the only success. He had tried multiple times to get people to switch career fields. He said I was the only success that he had ever had. And so not only did I learn what it was like to work for a really good leader and how easy it felt and how at ease I could be, but also I got to see what it felt like and how somebody can take care of their people. Those are two super huge lessons that I learned right at the beginning of my career. Now, when I switched to a different career field, I moved across the hall to the public affairs office to await my next move because with a new career field comes a move. And so I go over to the other side of the hall and work for who I think to this day was the worst leader I've ever worked for. Like if you wanted two opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to like going from the absolute best leader, I went to the worst leader. One of the things that I saw immediately off the bat was just still just crazy to think about. He would keep members of the team until 7 p.m. just in case he needed something, like in case there was an emergency. There was very rarely an emergency. And so, but he kept people. I was like, that is the most bizarre thing. I've never still have never seen somebody do that to people where yes, you can stay and work on a project, and maybe it takes a couple extra hours, one or two days, or maybe for even a week, and go that way. But just to keep people around and they had nothing to do. Still to this day, it all goes in my mind. And so I go from this really great leader, and I was so distraught because I finally got the career field I wanted. I finally understood what like I wanted to do in my career and how to do it. I felt really positive about it. And then I go to this, and I'm just like, what did I do? I used to work for the greatest leader and I got rid of that. That's so sad. So I just was there. Like I didn't really learn anything because I don't think there was anything new that this person could teach me and just awaited my next assignment. And so luckily I was only there for a few months. So I would say like that was awful, though. Like even a month of that was quite miserable. I left there and I got stationed in Korea, which was great. I loved it. It was so unbelievably incredible to learn. And I was stationed in Korea as the deputy chief of public affairs. So not only did I get to learn public affairs in like the prime of a location and how it you got to deal with international relations and how we even had some foreign nationals in our office. So I got to learn about the culture and how they did public affairs. It was really incredible. The mission was super high speed. It was always busy, and not only that I got to travel. Like it was a dream. I did two years there, which most people at the time only did one. I signed up for two because I really thought that I'd get an opportunity to grow into the role. But I think it was here where I really got to understand my job and how to work and lead teams. Do I think I was the greatest at it? Absolutely not. But I do think I learned a lot in that role because there was so much turnover in the space. Everyone only stayed for a year. So you got to see so many different personalities come in and out and see how that led to teams being led. Not only did the leaders change, but the individual contributors, like the airmen who were in the office, also changed out all the time. And so you could see how one person can change a whole dynamic of a team so quickly. It was wild. So I really feel like I got to learn a lot about how I wanted to be led and how I could lead others. Now, I will say I was not a very good follower. I was a deputy chief for two years there. Both chiefs of PA that I worked for, I would say I was just an okay follower. Like I really thought I knew what I was doing. And looking back now, I was like, oh, I probably could have taken the feedback much better that they had provided me. Like I did really well, but I wonder what would have happened had I taken the feedback that they had provided me in specific ways. So, like there was one where the chief gave me feedback about like emails being answered. And if you've heard me speak before, I am not the greatest at email. But he was just like, you should really reply to my emails. And I'm like, okay, we literally are right next to each other. So come talk to me. Like we can talk. But looking back, I'm sure there were reasons why he wanted the emails to have documentation of certain things, to understand, to have like fluid communication styles between me, him, and the airmen in the office. Like looking back now, I was being stubborn. So again, lots of lessons learned in Korea. And so I took a lot of that with me and kept the mentorship that I had from the colonel in Mississippi and kind of built it from there. So then I get stationed in Tampa. So that was my next duty station. I was a brand new captain. This is at my four-year mark in the military. I get stationed in Tampa at McDill. And I was told before I got there that I was going to lead an office. And this office was in needing of a lot of help. They were going through a lot of drama. There was a lot of personnel issues. And also the person that was running the public affairs shop was kind of absent for most of the time. And so I go in and I try to prepare as much as I can. This is like you're leading a team. This is exactly what the military prepares you for. So I took everything that I learned in RTC. I took everything that I had learned over the past four years. I had taken everything that I had read. I loved TED Talks at the time. So I listened to a ton of TED talks. I tried to really feel what it was like to lead teams. And I think there was a lot, there was a previous episode that I did where I talk about one of its the failure files and it's the feedback. And it talks about how I managed and how I felt like I did some things right. But there was one part where I think I failed. And I wish I would have done better. The part that I really think I did right is I went into it and I had so much intention going into this because I was forewarned that the office needed a lot of support and help. And so what that looked like was really setting myself up for success at the very beginning by setting expectations immediately for the whole office, what I expected, how I worked, all of that. And then I also met with everyone individually and asked what was working, what wasn't, how could I help? What did they appreciate that previous people had done in their careers and what would they like different? There was a lot of information that I gathered before I made any changes because one of the biggest things that I've I learned, RTC previous leaders, all of that, you do not go into a brand new office and change everything within a week. You take as much time as you can, which is usually between 30 to 60 days, and learn what is not working and what is working. And so I went in with that mindset. I completely took in as much information as I could. What was really hard about this is that McDill was so busy. There's a lot happening at this base. And so you're dealing with fire after fire after fire after fire. So while I was trying to rebuild a team and figure out how to manage and really being in my real full leadership role, I was also trying to learn how to be an advisor to a colonel who was very unhappy at the time and also very stressed because there's a lot going on at this base. And ultimately I ended up burning out. I was trying so hard. I couldn't sleep. I was constantly thinking about how I could improve at work. I also was not getting along with my deputy at the time. And I think like a lot of that issue was on my shoulders. Like I had a hard time with it, didn't know how to manage, didn't know how to lead in that aspect. It was almost too close to home and too difficult to understand. So within six months of me getting there, because I had left Korea, I was hot for a deployment. Like I was gonna need to go. And so originally I was determined, I was hopeful I was not gonna get a deployment because I wanted to settle. I had been overseas for two years. I just wanted to be in the States. I was so tired and so overwhelmed and unsure of how to approach this and felt like I had no support that I was excited for a deployment. And that looking back now, that makes me kind of sad because deployments are they can be tough. And mine, it was interesting. Like I learned a lot. I think there was tough moments. And I like take a lot of the lessons learned, but like I was excited for a deployment so I could escape the reality of which I was in at Tampa. That was hard. During this deployment, the Air Force was going through what is called a force shaping. And so they were looking at ways to reduce the force through year groups. Now, my year group ended up being one in my career field, ended up being one that was reduced. I was called by the director of staff while I was on deployment. They said, you need to do your foreshaping paperwork. And I was pretty pissed about that. Like, I'm sorry. I'm the one who is getting might be getting kicked out due to nothing that I had control over. And you're telling me I have to fill out this paperwork. Now I like looking back, I don't know if that like I had heard that other people's supervisors were filling out their paperwork. And so to be asked to fill out mine, it felt really like just a gut punch. And I decided that I was gonna put in my separation paperwork. I had always realized I was gonna go into the reserve because I had met somebody who did reserve and it seemed like a great life. And still to this day, I think joining the reserve is one of the best decisions I've ever made. And I just, I wasn't sure what my timeline was gonna be because I will always say I will do something until it no longer makes sense. Like that's kind of my way of living is like I will do something for as long as it makes sense. But once it doesn't make sense anymore, I will find another route, another way, another avenue. Because usually that means that that avenue has reached its course. So I put in my paperwork because I was burnt out, because I didn't really know where I wanted to go, but I thought the grass was greener on the other side. I thought that civilian life was really gonna be kind of where it was at. Like I was gonna succeed and thrive, and that was gonna be the answer. Put in my separation paperwork. And after six months of me, so it was I got back from my deployment, and then six months later, I was going to be separated. Great. So went through that process. And I will say I had a hard time finding a job because it's just hard to transition from military life to civilian life. So I kind of went hopping for a job and applied to all the PR agencies because I thought that I was gonna work at a PR agency. I was gonna do the corporate high-rolling gig agency life, and I was gonna be so happy. That's a theme that continues to pop up. So pay attention to that. I got hired at a shipping and distribution company doing their PR. I was only there for, I don't even think I was there for two months. When they hired me, they had just got acquired by FedEx and they didn't know that all of the PR was going to be done at the higher headquarters corporate level. And so I was just sitting there. I was like, okay, so what am I doing? And they were like, you can do trade shows and stuff. I was like, this is not what I signed up for. And they even apologized to me after the fact because they were like, we just had no idea. We had this job position open for a while before we got acquired. And so we just kind of went with it when you applied because you were a great hire. And so I appreciated that, but I ended up leaving and I ended up being an executive assistant to the CEO and president of a chamber of commerce. And this was all in Tampa, by the way. So I went from military to a short stint at that company into a not-for-profit. I learned a lot at this chamber of commerce. And for this first six months, I thought this is it. Like, this is the answer to all my prayers. This is where I'm like, I don't know if I'm gonna stay here for very long, but I think this is such a great jumping point. I got to meet all of who's who in Tampa. It was so cool. And I felt like I got to learn so much over a short period of time. And I really thought I was doing a good job. Around the six month point, there was a lot of things that happened, and I ended up reaching a burnout because first I was not getting paid very much at all. At all. I was trying to figure out how to get a raise and pay, and it's just, it wasn't sustainable. And the other part was I didn't negotiate my salary. Always negotiate your salary is what I've learned too. I stayed there for, I think it was a little just over two years, is where I was at. There was a period where there was just a lot of hard things that happened, one after another after another after another in this role. I learned a lot about myself during that time. And unfortunately, I think that they saw me learning. And when I say they, I mean the leadership at the team. And I don't know if they essentially knew how to give as much grace as I had been given during these learning periods in the past. And so I again burned out because I felt like there was nothing I could do right. Because after like, I think there was like two or three big mistakes, I ended up really being hard on myself. And I also noticed that they were being super hard on me. The other part of this that I learned, which was hard for all of us, I am not a good EA. I'm not. And it's not in my strengths. I am not a super detail-oriented person. And about the last six months I was working there, I hated, like with a passion, doing the calendar because I was doing it for someone else when I wanted to be doing my calendar. I wanted to be looking at my career and how I was growing. Everything I was doing was supporting the leadership team there and making them thrive, which was the job. It was the job. It just took me a long while to realize how much I wanted my career to thrive. And all I felt like I was doing was supporting them. And I didn't enjoy that at all. So I ended up leaving the chamber and I leaned into my reserve career a little bit more. So I took on a set of orders in Las Vegas, which is great. I got to work with a really great general. I got to learn from so many different leaders. It felt like there was a lot to take in, and it felt so good to put the uniform back on because the uniform felt like something I was familiar with. I could understand, I could figure it out and grow from there. And it was a culture that I understood. So I go to Vegas for a little less than a year and learn so much. It was an interesting time. During that time, one of the great leaders I worked with was a colonel, and he was doing mentorship sessions with all of the other majors in the office. So I decided I was like, I want a mentorship session. So I signed up for one. I didn't make a big deal about it. I was just like, hey, can I get on his calendar? I would love to do a mentorship session too. So I did and go into this session thinking it is going to be strictly about military. I was like, how can I grow? What can I learn? What feedback can you give me? I love these type of meetings. I was like, especially when the leader's great. I'm like, give me all of the feedback that you have. I will take it and grow. I go into the meeting, we talked about my military career. And then he goes, Okay, well, what about your civilian career? What do you want to do? And I was not prepared for this question. So I was like, uh, uh, uh. So I go into, well, my dream would be to work for Disney or Southwest because I know they have great work culture and I want to work at a great company with great work culture. And so I'd love to do communications for them. And he goes, How can I help you? And I say, Well, if you know anyone that works at the companies, I've learned that networking and having that connection is much better way to work your way into a company versus just applying online. And he goes, Okay. He's like, I don't know anyone at Disney, but I know someone at Southwest. I don't know if it'll help you, but happy to connect you. I was like, oh my gosh, that's great. Such a wonderful thing. I leave this meeting and I'm just like, okay, I I like learned a lot. It was great. He proceeds to make the connection that he had with me. And it turns out he is a recruiter. And he's like, I work with the HR department all the time. It doesn't sound like you want to be a pilot because he was a pilot recruiter, but let me know if you find a role that you're interested in applying for and go ahead and apply and just let me know. I was like, oh my gosh, this is perfect. A month later, a job opens up at the company. And so I apply and I let him know. And I'm just like, okay, well, whatever happens, happens. I end up getting an interview for that role, but I didn't end up getting the role. So I was pretty disappointed by that. Move forward. The recruiter that I had worked with really liked our interview that we had had. And they had a job opening in their work culture department at Southwest. This recruiter reached out, loved this recruiter, by the way, super great, and was like, hey, I know that you wanted to do a communications role, but here's something that is pretty different for a company. We think you might be a good applicant. Do you want to apply? Perfect. I would love to apply. So I go through this process for the job, and it takes several months. And I get the job and I'm so excited. I was moving to Dallas. I was like, it's gonna be a big city. It was so easy finding an apartment. Everything kind of fell into place. And I get there, I work at this company. Everyone's so kind and welcoming. And I just I learned so much in such a short period of time. Because I had to, but also it was so fun. Like we were in the most fun department, and everyone wanted to work in our department. For the first six months, like I absolutely love it. The team I work on is amazing, and we do so much really cool stuff. We get to travel all the time. And I saw my whole future be at Southwest Airlines. I saw it. I was like, everyone does it here. This is where I'm going to thrive. I know this is where I'm going to retire from. So for six or so months, I was like, I'm in. I'm 100% in. Then after those six months, I start wondering. I'm like, okay, I can't seem to grow as much as I want to here. Like I had reached what I thought was my growth period. And I already learned so much, but I was like, I'm ready for like what's next. I want to be a manager at this company. I wanted to sign up for leadership classes. One of the many great things about this company is that you can sign up for so many different types of classes at the learning development center that they have as a part of the company. And so I was like, let me sign up for leadership 101, leadership 102. And I was like, I'm ready to do like 201. I'm ready. They wouldn't let me sign up because I wasn't in a leadership role yet. I was like, what? Like, I know I want to be a leader at this company. Can I just go ahead and sign up? And they said, no, I couldn't. So I start learning about leadership in other ways. At the same time, all of this is happening. I start struggling in my job. Not like I was actually doing really well in my job. I was struggling with the fact that while my manager was the kindest person, I didn't know how to work for her. I didn't know how to ask the right questions. I didn't know how to lead up at the time. I was very, very good at leading, managing people. But as shown in my time in Korea, I wasn't the greatest follower either. And I think that also is showcased during my time at the chamber. I wasn't that great of a follower, which is just as important as leadership. And I was just struggling with like how to communicate with her, how to say what I wanted while also giving what she needed in the role, too. And also the office was going through a lot of change at that time. There was just a lot of company initiatives that were changing that were affecting the organization. And this was before COVID. So it was very just an interesting time to work at this company and in the airline industry in general. So I was just, I became unhappy. I was at what is known as one of the happiest companies, especially at the time. And I was unhappy. In fact, I would say during that time, I was depressed. And I had no realization how much my job was impacting my mental health at the time. What was so great about this company is they give free mental health services. But you get five therapy appointments for one issue as part of your health benefits. And they set you up. So I decided to do that. I was so just struggling. I just couldn't figure out how to get out of this world that I had now found myself in. And I just didn't understand. It was almost like I was had this glass wall in front of me, and I could see where everything could go great and where everything was like possible. And I was just being held back by this glass wall and didn't understand how to get to the other side. And so I would pinpoint as this is the time in which I really started to see how leadership impacted lives and how it impacts every aspect of your life because I saw how it impacted mine. And I just wanted to learn more about leadership at the time. I just decided to learn as much as I can because if I can help myself and then maybe I can build a better bridge between me and my manager. I just didn't know how. I didn't know how. And she was like the nicest person ever. And I just couldn't understand why I was so unhappy. So I go to therapy. And the first thing he said, he was like, When's the last time you took a day off? When's the last time you took a vacation? I was like, I literally, I literally could not remember. I was working myself into the ground because I was trying to achieve my way to happiness, is what I would say I was doing. And it wasn't working. And so because it wasn't working, I was just so determined to still make it work. So I figured if I could achieve, then I'll be happy. That's not the case, folks. Spoiler alert. So I go into the therapy session and my homework leaving the therapy session was to go on a vacation. I was like, best therapy session ever. So I do that and I finally get some separation from the situation that I'm in. And then following this, I ended up going to the Rise conference by Rachel Hollis. I went to it like a few months later. I ended up getting a lot out of that conference. I know that there's been a lot of controversy since then about Rachel Hollis, the company, the conferences, or whatever it is. I feel like it was very useful for where I was and what I needed. It was one of those things where, like between the therapy and that conference, I got to see what was possible and a different viewpoint that I hadn't been able to see before. And also it gave me like separation between the situation I was at and what was possible. So I pulled myself out of the scenario a little bit and tried to strive for what I actually wanted with my life instead of the life I was dealing with and trying to make work. It was at the conference that I had gotten the idea for a leadership podcast. And what I had been doing in the months leading up to the conference was sitting down with people who I admired at the company. I would ask them for coffee. And that's another great thing about this company. You can reach out to anyone in this company and ask them to do a coffee chat. And everyone was always like, yeah, sure, whatever. Like, what do you want to talk about? And we would meet up for coffee on campus. It was awesome. I got to meet so many cool people through that. Highly recommend that to anyone, by the way. If you find somebody who's super interesting and you're like, I just want to get to know more of their story, reach out, ask for a coffee, zoom, whatever it is. So I go finish these coffee chats and I learned so much from these. And so the podcast came because I was like, the struggles I was going through, I was talking to peers, and so many of my peers were going through the same issues. And I was like, this is not just me. This is everyone has the struggle where they don't understand how they can grow in their role. They don't understand what gets them from point A to point B, or they're having a communication issue with somebody on their team or their manager or their individual contributor or somebody that they led. There was just these constant issues that were consistently coming up for people I was talking with. I was like, okay, well, these conversations are helping me. I think if I recorded them, I bet you even if one person listened to this podcast, it would help one other person. So that's what I did. I started recording podcasts and it was so fun. I still to this day love doing this podcast. And the feedback that I received on this podcast was just so good. And then on one of my first episodes, I interview a leadership coach. And I remember talking with her before she became a coach and then after she became a coach. And the difference in her demeanor and how she kind of portrayed herself and how calm she was. Not saying she wasn't calm before, but just like it was a totally different demeanor. And the way she asked questions, I was like, that is so cool. I want to learn how to do it. I want to learn how to do this because I think it would just be useful. And so I sat on that for a little while because I was like, I don't know how to, how do you become a leadership coach? This isn't like something that is taught. You just kind of stumble upon somebody who did it and you start asking questions. She went to the Georgetown program, which is a great program. And so I started researching about this program, going to their info sessions, just listening in and kind of seeing how it would all work. I couldn't figure out how to do it at the same time that I was doing a full-time job. It just didn't seem possible. So I kind of sat on it for probably a year. Then COVID happened. And right before this, I had switched roles at Southwest. I went to the IT department and took a lot of what I learned and took it with me into that role because I got to see how to kind of set yourself up for success at the beginning of a role and figure out what those expectations, how communication happens. There's a lot of different things that I learned how to do. And so I applied those into the role and then COVID happened. And I remember watching this real time. We weren't sure how everything was going to be impacted and how everything was going to go. And so COVID happened. I ended up leaving the company, taking their voluntary separation pay, which was not something I initially thought I would do. Again, I thought I was going to be with this company for forever. And then something in me, it was just like, you need to take this separation. And I always trust my gut. And for some weird reason, this voice was so loud. And so I took it. And I went on to military leap before that to help out an innovation team who were supporting a lot of COVID aspects. And so I had been supporting that for a minute. And then I decided to just do that full time. There was just a lot of turn and turn and turn. There was, I mean, I think that was like six years ago. The amount of things that I have done in those six years is wild. But because I decided to leave Southwest and we were going to COVID and everything was virtual, I could do leadership coaching. I could get my certification because now I had time. And so I did. I started my certification program. I did not get into Georgetown, but I did find another program that was really great, loved it, and did that for two-ish years. At the same time, I hopped on and off orders with the military, including leading a team that also needed help. I did the leadership coaching certification. At the same time, I was leading a team of about 20 people, going through really tough personnel challenges, like the hardest I've had to deal with. And learned how to deal with that, moved from North Carolina to South Carolina to Florida. And in the transition between South Carolina to Florida, I kept applying for jobs. And this is the time period in my life where I was like, I'll do communications and leadership. In fact, there seemed to be a perfect role at one of the companies that I applied for that combined both. It just took me a little bit of time to kind of figure out what I actually wanted and the life I wanted to lead. And then I got to see all these different types of leadership and the military and outside the military. And I mean, tell me about somebody who didn't learn a lot about themselves during the time period after COVID. I personally feel like there's a renaissance happening right now with everyone fully coming out of that and embracing our life. And during these last several years, I've gotten a chance to reflect. And that's something that's so interesting about going through a coaching program because you realize how much you need to reflect on yourself in order to become a coach that can be present for through clients. And I got to see who I wanted to be. Now, do I think that I have all the answers? Absolutely not. But I have gotten to see through my career who I don't want to be and who I do want to be. And I've gotten to work with some okay leaders, and I've also gotten to work with great leaders, and then I've gotten to work with some crappy leaders. I mean, when I say the okay leaders, they're the ones who like I don't quite understand because I wouldn't lead that way, but they're not bad. So it's almost like I opened my mind to what was possible. The lessons that resulted from all of these scenarios, I feel like play into how I coach today and how I see what's possible for my clients or for other people. And the one is finding out your strengths. For goodness sakes, find out your strengths and your weaknesses, understanding where my weaknesses were. Had I known I was not a good EA, I would have never applied for that job. I had no idea how much I was not good at that. And I have come to accept that that's okay. And you can accept your weaknesses. And you can also find people who help with your weaknesses. Like somebody else's strength is your weakness. So you lean into their strengths. I'm a big, big believer in Clifton Gallup strength finders. Taking that test and understanding what your strengths are, huge, huge for Clifton Gallup strength finders. My number one is a ranger. And so that means I connect dots and put puzzle pieces together. And I think that this is my biggest strength because I have I can bring things together that most people wouldn't connect. Before, I used to think of this as being scatter brain because somebody would be talking about topic and I would be totally off topic in a different part of a conversation. But I was able to bring it back to the conversation. I mean, you probably saw this during this podcast episode. I go from this timeline to now sharing the lessons that I've learned. And some people would see that as scatter brain. I put the puzzle pieces together. I see the lessons that I've learned and bring those together into what I now know as one of my strengths. And so because of connecting the dots or finding these puzzle pieces, I'm able to see things from a different lens than maybe I would have in the past. And I can help what other people kind of see those. So when my clients are describing a situation, I'm able to ask questions that prompt those connecting of the dots and help them see maybe what the actual issue is instead of spinning circles, strengths and weaknesses and understanding what that is for you. The other lesson that I've learned is as you continue to move up in your career, you start realizing that the people who are leaders don't actually have all the answers. Even the highest level of leaders don't have all the answers. That one was a hard one for me because until you move your way up and you realize that you aren't given the answers as you move up, you literally have to figure it out. That's the same for all of the people that are leading you over the course of your career. They have to learn lessons the same as you do at their level. One of the stories that sticks with me is when I was at McDill as the chief of public affairs, the colonel I worked for, I mentioned was very stressed at the time. He had a lot on his plate, a lot of stress. Everyone was asking a lot of him. I met up with him a few years later in my chamber capacity. So I got to see him kind of on the other side. He had retired and went to work at one of the companies in Tampa. At the lunch we went to, he actually apologized to me. He was like, hey, I don't think I was the easiest person to work for. And I'm sorry about that. I was really stressed. And I think you knew that. And I just wanted to say, like, I understand I probably wasn't the easiest to work with. I was like, wow. Realizing that a retired colonel decided to apologize because he's like, looking back now, having that separation, I see I wasn't the greatest leader. That's huge. But that made me understand, oh yeah, they're just as human. Everyone's human. And we all have to lead, we think is the best way at the time, but we're still going to be learning lessons along the way. So that was another one. Everyone has a lens in which they look at life through. You can be in the same scenario as another person, and you could both leave that scenario with completely different perspectives on how it went. One of the stories I want to share, and it's so interesting. I had had a conversation with my deputy at the time when I was at Charleston, when I was leading this team. And we both had the same conversation, like word for word. And we both took different things out of how this conversation went. So I left the conversation with, but we can just leave it be. She left the conversation with, but yeah, we're gonna do it. And the words were the same, but we left it with completely different meanings. Holy crap! Like understanding how you can be communicating words and the intention behind the words, like totally different, gave me so much perspective. Communication is so important, but understanding that everyone's lens is different, it makes such a perspective change. And once you understand, like there's human error and then the lens is different, more grace is given. That conversation that I just spoke of, it was no one's fault. Literally, we both just left the conversation with different meanings of what was said. And so it was no one's fault. And we understood that. We're like, oh, it was just a huge miscommunication. I think that we probably could have blamed each other for sure. But that was unnecessary. We both didn't want to leave that conversation that way. We both were like, okay, where do we go from here? So understanding that the lens is different will help broaden the scope of how you understand what is happening. The last thing I want to talk about is understanding the control you have and understanding things that are out of your control. I learned I was trying to control a lot of the things that were out of my control. And that was frustrating because I kept putting my effort towards things that were out of my control. It was like moving up a hill on a treadmill. Like you could see the top of the hill and you were literally going nowhere. It was so frustrating. Once I learned to let go of those things that I didn't actually have control over, and these are things like other people's emotions, how other people approach their job, how things are happening in the company, and you're like, I just disagree with how they approach it. Guess what? Most of those things are out of your control. What did I learn was in my control? My emotions and where I put my effort and how I approach my day-to-day with my attitude. Those are like the key things that I learned to control more. Because before I had a short fuse, I would spiral very quickly. Now I learn to take a step back and decide what is worth putting a lot of my emotions into. And is this something that I have control over? I would say nine times out of 10, I don't have control over most of that. But I can change the effort that I'm putting into it to either reflect how I do have control over it or put my effort into something that I do know I have control over. And that's become a crucial thing in how I approach my day-to-day. I cannot control other people's emotions, their reactions, how they decide to approach certain things. I can control my emotion, my attitude, and the effort that I put forth. I can tell somebody, so if I'm a leader, if I'm a manager and I'm leading a team of three people and I have two that are thriving, and there's one that is just not understanding what I'm asking. I can choose to either try to control them. I can micromanage them. I can tell them that they need to show me everything that they're working on, be frustrated with them that they're not understanding, or I can help control my emotions a little bit better and start asking questions that gives them a little bit more clarity, or taking a step back and realizing maybe I'm not communicating the way that they need. So creating a little bit more control in my arena, but seeing what is out of my control. And that is how the other person's brain works, or maybe their emotions. There's a lot of different ways to take this, but I encourage you to see what in your life and at work do you have control over and what don't you? I would encourage you to write these down. And then when you're feeling frustrated or that nothing's working, take a look at this list. Take a look, see, is this in my control? If it is, how can I adjust? How can I make it better? If it's not in my control, why is it out of my control? And am I trying to force it in my control? If it's not in my control, what should I actually be focusing on and kind of go from there? That's my leadership journey. That is kind of how I've gotten to where I am today. I think there's so much more to be learned. I do not think my leadership journey is at an end that I have all the answers. In fact, I would say it's even more so at a new beginning because I'm learning from a different perspective. But I love the lessons that I have taken away. And I hope that you received something that maybe you want to reflect on a little bit or take away for homework. But take a look at your leadership journey and see what lessons you have learned over the time. Take a look at maybe what you see as a theme for your strengths and weaknesses and what you're striving for and if these actually fit that. Or is there something else that maybe you want to learn? Everyone's leadership journey is different, and everyone's lessons that they learn are different. And taking the time to reflect and see what you have learned will pay dividends for your future and how you approach leadership from here on out. Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed today's episode and took something away from it. If you really enjoyed today's episode, feel free to share it. I would love it if you shared it on social media or with a friend that maybe might take away something. Also, what really helps the show is leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify that helps the show to be seen by other people who might not have found it. And if you found something useful from this, then somebody else might find something useful from this. So I encourage you to share it. I encourage you to leave a review. And until next time, I hope you have a great day.